Father's Day without your dad

Written by my mother, Belinda Cross, for Fathers’ Day 2020:

This is my first Father’s Day without my dad. It’s bittersweet…in a weird kind of way. At one moment, grief comes out of nowhere that creates a well of tears in my eyes. The next moment, a memory engulfs my heart that stretches into a big smile. It’s just plain odd how that happens. There is no warning and no explanation. Just boom! It happens. And I never know which emotion it will be. I simply cannot explain it. I do want to explain something that I do know, but first, let me tell you about my dad.

My dad was the wisest man I have ever known, and I didn’t hesitate telling him that. He loved me and I loved him in a way that is impossible to explain. He made sacrifices for me that I understand more and more as I grow older. Now, he is gone. I miss talking to him…daily. I miss riding to Louisville with him…and talking all the way. I miss eating lunch with him. I miss my dad’s comfort when I’m worried or sad. I miss the advice he gave…even when I didn’t ask for it. I miss being able to call him with questions…especially when I needed help with my Sunday School lesson.

I miss my dad! But through the last few months, especially the last few weeks, of my day’s earthly life, God prepared me (and my mom) for his earthly departure. As we look back, we can see God was preparing us in ways that we didn’t even know at the time. God was so loving and compassionate towards us. He patiently walked with us through times where we’d chosen to ignore the reality of his declining health. We now see how God was orchestrating my dad’s final months and ever-so-lovingly preparing us for his death. Let me explain just one of those times.

The day before my dad died was the first day I had lost hope that he would get better. I hadn’t lost all hope. It was just a little loss of hope. On this day, I had a meltdown. I didn’t want my mom to see me crying, so I went to my car where I could be by myself and pray. It was a mixture of praying and uncontrollable crying. It was more of uncontrollable crying.

Now, I know that God is always with me, but through the years, He has manifested Himself in greater ways at times. This was one of those greater times. The Holy Spirit’s presence was felt in a different, supernatural way. This time….suddenly…. Jesus was crying with me. Jesus was right in that car crying with me. I cannot describe the peace and comfort that He gave me. But I can tell you that Jesus was in that car….and He was crying with me.

So, here is the rest of the story as I continue to reflect on the first Father’s Day without my dad.

Jesus was crying with me in that car. The Holy Spirit was comforting me, His little girl. God was reminding me that I never have to worry about my heavenly Father leaving me. God was with me in that moment and I understood while sitting in the driver’s seat of my car grieving my earthly father’s declining health that my heavenly Father would always be with me. God would never leave me….never! Unbeknownst to me, God was preparing me for the very next day when my earthly father would be gone to his heavenly home.


So, on this Father’s Day, thank God for your earthly father. If he is alive, love on him today like it might be your last time to celebrate Father’s Day with him. If your father is not here anymore, like mine, thank God for the influence he had on your life. Your story might be quite different from mine. Perhaps you have never had a loving father who walked beside you, guiding you, showing you Jesus. Maybe the thought of your dad doesn’t bring good memories at all. However, you can still celebrate Father’s Day

On this Fathers’ Day, remember that as Christians we ALL have the same heavenly Father. While today is a day to honor our earthly fathers, we can also use this time to honor and worship our heavenly Father. He wants us to have a relationship with Him, and an even greater love than we can ever imagine with our earthly fathers. He IS our Father! He is even greater than our earthly fathers. No way! Yes, let me explain.

God, our Father, is with us every day….throughout the day. He rides with us to Louisville…and talks along the way. He eats lunch with us. He cries with us and wraps His loving arms around us. And His wisdom…wow! He loves to give us advice and wants us to look for His guidance. He welcomes our questions…especially when we’re trying to understand His Word. He invites us to spend a lot of time with Him every single day. And He wants us to grow to understand even more the unfathomable sacrifice He made for us—He sent His Son to earth so we can have a Savior and eternal life. On top of all of that is the fact that nothing can ever separate us from His presence.

So, today, on this Father’s Day, relish in the fact that you are a child of God. Tell God how much you love Him. And don’t hesitate to tell Him how much you appreciate His wisdom and guidance…even when you don’t ask for it. Thank Him for the sacrifice He made for you. Thank Him for the promise that you never ever have to worry about losing Him. Just take delight in remembering that you are a child of God. God is your Father. And today, on this Father’s Day, join me in saying, “Happy Father’s Day, God.”

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God? And that is what we are? 1 John 3:1

If you’re reading this and want to learn more about being a child of God, don’t hesitate to contact me or my mom, Belinda Cross: bcross@twc.com