IVF got this [Part VI]: The day of the results

Journal entry written on February 27, 2019: 

Today was fairly calm to say the least. I think I’ve been so distracted lately with my business website, networking, working in clinic, working with the schools, volunteering, and organizing meetings that I hardly even had time to sit and think “what if this embryo decides to stick it out?!”

Today, I nearly missed the appointment time for bloodwork that would determine if the embryo decided to get cozy and make my uterus its home (aka, pregnant). Then, I met with a friend for 4 hours which kept my mind occupied. On my way home I called my husband to see if he was up for a little lunch break together. While on that drive to his office, the nurse called me and I ignored it. I didn’t want to be driving and hear this by myself. My husband is my rock, my best friend, my best partner. He needed to hear it too.

Once I arrived at his office parking lot, I jumped into his car. My heart was still calm during the call back to the nurse. My husband seemed a little nervous as he was fidgeting. I really didn’t know what to expect. To be honest, I had already thought that this first time may not work and was completely okay with that. Plus, we were getting ready to take our first “relaxing” vacation, the one where you go to a remote island and just chill on the beach. So, I was okay with drinking a mojito under the sun, the sand between my toes and coming back to try again.

I honestly can’t see past today. We’ve gotten to a point in our life together that we could no longer see ahead or even plan major events because we were unsure of what to do with life - do we move forward with these embryos or just continue our life together as is?

That phone call changed our outlook. I heard “positive” and “you’re very pregnant” and never, ever thought about what those words would mean! I still don’t know what it means. My tears vomited (just a little) and I could feel the choke coming up hard. I certainly didn’t expect for the emotions to reflux into my throat as I started to respond. As it settled in, type A personality “oh my gosh, what do I do” kicks in. My husband reminded me it’s like when we got engaged. He proposed, we were both nervous, then we awkwardly hugged and said “what did we just do?!” And it all turned out quite alright, actually, better than we expected. I never even thought I could live with and love a man this long. Hence, why I never wanted to get married before the age of 30. Less time to live with a man. And here I am, knowing way ahead than the actual time women find out they are pregnant. I’m one of those that doesn’t want to know until I’m 6 months then it’s just 3 months to think about it. Now I literally (possibly) have a full 9+ months!  

A photo of our embryo thawed and implanted, was rolled up inside a real egg (after cleaning out the yolk)
and had my parents crack the egg...it was an exciting surprise for the whole family. 

As I lay here writing my thoughts, I think about oh the number of things that are possibly going to change and oh how much our new house is going to change. And, oh how much I need to learn - what can I eat, reading every single ingredient on products to avoid the 15 million chemicals our country doesn’t ban, what is my body going to do each day, and oh shoot, I can’t just lift ANYthing I want! It’s definitely going to be a challenge to accept help from others when I know I can do it, only I shouldn’t. 

I’m already overwhelmed. And now, I’m thinking, maybe these next 12 weeks of booty shots will be worth it. We are really ready for our first ever, “relaxing” vacation which now, probably becomes a “babymoon.” Gosh, it all feels and seems so weird!

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This is a mini documentary of our journey and an announcement that captured our results on video! At 36 weeks pregnant today and as we reflect on February 27th, this journey still doesn't feel real...