The Labor and Delivery
NOTE: Every labor and delivery has a story. Every mom has their own story because no story or experience is the same. Therefore, many women may have fear about labor and delivery (at least this was the observation I made during our birthing class and have heard from many first time moms). This is my story, and I share this to offer any additional insight, tips, and from a realist perspective. In fact, you can generate a birth plan but I went into it without holding onto any of my preferences and let go of any expectations. Being flexible allows you to follow your body’s response and prevents us from disappointment.
As we approached the final weeks, I just knew this baby was not coming before its due date. I was still running with no discomfort, pressure, or cramping. I wasn’t feeling contractions except I learned that my frequent belly tightness was Braxton Hicks Contractions. In the final weeks, my husband and I pretty much filled our days and nights with spontaneous dates. We’d meet up with friends for church service; my husband ramped up his cooking skills and put together some delicious meals; and we spent all of the first weekend of November putting up Christmas décor while playing Christmas tunes. Just 4 days before the planned induction, we went out for one more breakfast date to fill up on pancakes and eggs. Then we went to for an impromptu hike with our pup because how can you not take advantage of gorgeous fall weather! Just 2 days before the planned induction, I embraced the colder temps and went for one more 3-mile run to let out all my nerves. The night before, we went out for our last date night at a steakhouse and walked the mall next door.
My nerves were definitely escalating as my planned Induction Day, Wednesday, approached. I feared I wouldn’t get in on Wednesday evening to get started. The hospital was to call between a designated time frame and let us know there is room in the labor delivery ward to come in for the induction. There’s no scheduled time and you don’t even know if you’re going to get that call. My window was 8p-12A Midnight! One of my mother-n-laws flew in that morning and my parents arrived a half hour before my induction phone call window. Of course, everyone is on pins and needles, anxiously waiting. I had to keep busy, so I continued to clean the house (apparently a sign baby is coming!), and I did workouts in our home gym doing lots of squats and lunges. Around 8:30p I decided to soak in the tub and watch a TV show for relaxation and distraction. Right when I sat in the cozy, hot water (not too hot), I got the call. It was the hospital! They sounded excited, I sounded…nervous. They said I could take my time since I had 90 minutes and I did (we lived 10 minutes away without traffic). I continued soaking while watching a Netflix show without telling anyone in my family I got the call. Then I took a hot shower. Eventually, my husband arrived in the bathroom and said he wanted to relax too…well, I had to tell him he only had time for a shower. We got ready and headed to the kitchen where our parents got a little worked up after they saw us putting on our shoes and jackets. My bags were ready and now…I guess I have to be ready.
While I was super nervous about being induced and the whole labor/delivery process, the benefit of knowing “when” is that we could plan some things such as dates and even making a schedule for our family to visit (crazy I know, and the only thing I planned this entire 9-month journey). We had our parents wait at home to rest until morning or at least until they got a phone call. We arrived at the hospital around 9:30p and waited for a while in triage to get started. Internally, I was getting more and more anxious all while trying to remain externally calm. My husband informed me a week later, that he, too, was very nervous about the labor and delivery process for me. My best friend who lived states away was nervous for me. Everybody was nervous! But, I tried to continue to act “chill” and calm. However, having all my friends and family praying for us and supporting us near and far, was just what we needed to surrender our fear to our Father and simply go with the flow. Going through labor and delivery for the first time was something we could never prepare for. Nor did I have any expectations.
(A cheesy video summarizing parts of the journey through labor)
Pitocin Time
My goal going into the induction was to hold off on the epidural for as long as possible. I was hoping to make it to at least 5-6 cm dilated so it wouldn’t be as long of labor after the epidural. Plus, once you get the epidural, you can’t get up and walk around. They started the Pitocin between midnight and 1am. They start very low and progress with the dose every hour. I was 3cm at my 39-week appointment and they assured me that is a great number to start with. They were right. I started off the process with squats then resting. I wasn’t feeling much until after my water broke at 4am. That was another thing I wasn’t sure about either wondering when does the water normally break. I went to the bathroom and each time I stood up, water was coming out so I sat down and it stopped. At first, I didn’t know what it was until I realized, “um, maybe my water broke.” I then returned to my favorite place, the therapy ball, where I remained for the rest of the morning rocking, bouncing, and wearing a heating pad I brought from home wrapped around my back.
While rocking side to side and forward, it felt like a waterfall gushing out and almost felt like a relief of pressure. My husband slept on the couch through all this and he opened his eyes and I said, “I think my water broke.” I didn’t bother him much because mainly I wasn’t sure what was ahead and wanted rest for the both of us. As the contractions progressed and got more intense, my husband woke up and looked at me while I was bouncing around and breathing, leaning over on the bed with each contraction. I said, “I think I might need the epidural.” He got up as I made my way to all fours on the bed with a peanut ball. He and the nurse helped me progress a little further without it and squeezed my hips which helped through one contraction but not the others. It was all a blur now, but I do remember the nurse and my husband telling me all I needed to do was say the word…epidural. I broke down. It was too intense and the fact that the nurse said they’ll get a little more intense, made me cave for the code word.
The nurse thought for sure I was at 7 or 8cm. There are 3 phases of labor and I was entering what’s called the “transition” phase, where the contractions get very intense. I really thought I could endure it but was okay with giving in to the epidural. I didn’t make any goals or expectations to go through this without it so that I wouldn’t feel defeated. The anesthesiologist arrived just in time because the intensity was escalating more. I hugged my husband and took in deep breaths through the process of inserting the catheter for continuous pain relief. They informed me that I would still feel the first 3 contractions after starting the epidural and they were spot on. They checked me and I was at 5cm. I was happy! Shortly after, our friend and videographer as well as our parents arrived and came in for a brief visit and prayer. From there, we progressed fairly quickly and within a couple hours I got up to 10cm. Just before I was to start pushing, I got pain on my left side which didn’t feel like contractions, so I pushed the “easy” button (pain pump). Well, I pushed it right before my hourly dose flowed through my veins. Then I started to feel faint and vomited. After getting all that under control, it was go time.
The Delivery
Because I progressed so quickly and successfully, I think many were anticipating maybe a 30- minute delivery. At that point, I’m thinking surely it won’t take but a few pushes…but what do I know. The nurses had me push and I was nervous because the doctor wasn’t there yet and I wanted her to catch my baby. There are 3 pushes to each contraction. The first 3 sets, I was thinking, wow, this may take a while because I have no clue if I’m doing this right. I felt like a dummy not knowing how to push! I started out side pushing…both sides because it felt most comfortable. The baby didn’t like my right side for whatever reason. The doctor came in and boy did that make a difference. She’s fierce, intense, aggressive, highly enthusiastic and knew exactly what we wanted. She knew we wanted as natural of a process as possible and we would try to have a healthy baby and mommy without c-section. However, I was prepared to be okay with a c-section.
About 2.5 hours into pushing, I started to feel unsure that this baby was going to come out. I couldn’t consistently “bear down” like I’m to have a bowel movement. I’d lose my “oomph” by the 3rd push of each contraction. I tried every position of pushing from side-lying, to using a towel (where I almost slid off the table), to grabbing the bars (which was the best position for me). My doctor, my coach, was amazing as well as my husband. They’d yell like we were almost to the finish line and tell me to push HARD! I’d take in oxygen between contractions. I already ripped before I even really started pushing and had to be stitched. I was afraid of tearing, but there came a point where I didn’t care how much I tore to get this baby out. I feared of pooping on the table before going into labor, but suddenly I didn’t care at all! The intervals of pushing with each contraction reminded me of doing speed intervals or when I’d race my hardest to qualify for nationals in my triathlons. I could hear my coach telling me to push hard at the end until I feel like I’m going to puke! I knew this all too well but yet, I couldn’t quite get my baby’s head to cross the finish line and felt like it took 2 steps back, getting suctioned back in after each set of pushes! My husband was getting worried and even asked what we do would do if this baby didn’t come out? The doctor said the next step was the vacuum and she knew I didn’t want that so that’s all I needed to hear and within a few more contractions I pushed hard even though I felt like my eyes and head were about to pop off with each one. It was quite a scene with my husband and doctor yelling along with the nurses assuring me the baby is right there!! The doctor even grabbed my hand a couple times to put it on the baby’s head. I freaked out, but I knew what she was doing this to let me feel how close we were! My husband stripped down to his t-shirt along the way, he was sweating and proudly cheering me on. Meanwhile, I felt loopy, exhausted but yet, the excitement in the room pushed me beyond my threshold. It was enough to keep going and push this baby out after 3 hours. Towards the last few cycles of pushing, the baby pooped inside and they had NICU waiting and ready because of the risk of infection. I was okay with that and knew we were in a good place (I used to work there and with the NICU graduates). After 3 hours, the entire room was in a roar, I felt instant relief when I visually saw the baby’s head above the sheet below. The doctor yelled to me, “pull it out!” I didn’t, but they laid the baby on my chest and under the umbilical cord was a pee pee!! Oh my gosh…it’s a BOY!!!
I looked at my husband and saw his emotions were overflowing with sparkles in his eyes. He was in awe the entire 3-hour ride and his excitement certainly carried through. I was simply relieved and the feeling of having a baby on my chest was something I couldn’t describe. It didn’t feel like my baby. I patted him like a cat. His skin was so soft and didn’t feel real. His cry was so cute and his body was like a warm blanket on my chest. He looked and felt like a stranger and yes, I said, “this is so weird” as I anticipated. The relief of pressure in my stomach was gone. In fact, the first thing I did was put my hand on my belly. While it was so weird to feel my stomach was gone, I was amazed at how quickly all those symptoms of pregnancy discomfort subsided. They took my baby off my chest for quick NICU assessments and I panicked a little because I knew how important it was to start skin-to-skin or kangaroo time immediately. But they promised me it was okay as they were checking his Apgar levels and overall health. My husband was by his side anyhow. As they were doing all that, it was just me and the doctor. She was stitching me up good. While I was still numb I felt all the tugging and pulling thinking, “oh boy, this is going to hurt and be very sore later!” I couldn’t help but think about how much I tore and that I will definitely have some hemorrhoids to deal with later. This consumed my mind for a while.
I got our 6 lb 11oz baby back. My husband asked where his length, 20 1/4 “ falls on the norms scale and they said, “oh he’s average.” Of course, my husband was thrilled and jokingly says, “have you seen my height? It’s not average.” While having him on my skin I noticed he was rooting and recalled in birthing class to immediately put them on your boob! While I didn’t have any expectations of breastfeeding (again, didn’t want to feel defeated if it didn’t work), he actually latched on! I had no clue what I was doing but just let him do his thing and the nurses came in and educated me as they saw what I was doing. We even had a lactation consultant daily while in the hospital. We then soaked in our family time and our doctor came over and gave me a hug. I had to repeatedly thank her. I found out she had canceled a few patients and rescheduled a c-section. She truly took care of us.
Our parents shortly arrived in the delivery room and couldn’t contain their emotions. It was my dad’s birthday so the first thing I said, was “happy birthday daddy, you got what you thought we’d have…Solomon!” We had family members and friends guess the gender and his guess was a boy. It was also my Pee Paw’s birthday so we did Facetime with him and other family to announce the gender with Solomon on my chest. I wanted them all there to see this little miracle, but this helped make it special for family that were all far away.
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A glimpse of our baby's gender reveal and arrival...
Some Labor Tips and My Favorite Things for Labor:
While I may have overpacked, I made sure I had everything in my labor tool kit to help me relax and alleviate pain during the contractions. These are things that may or may not get used but all depends on the progress of labor and what one would feel like using at the time. Since I went in late evening, I ended up attempting sleep rather than utilizing a lot of the things I had in my tool kit.
1) Therapy ball (my best friend!) - helps open the pelvis and relieves pressure. It helps to keep the hips rolling and moving while sitting on the ball during the contractions. One of the topics discussed in our birthing class.
2) Heating pad - a modality that alleviated the contractions while sitting on the therapy ball. My husband took off his belt so it would hold the heating pad in position around my back as I focused on breathing and bouncing.
3) Coconut Oil - while I didn't end up using any other strategies for labor and pain during contractions, I packed everything I thought would feel good. Coconut oil was going to be used to massage my feet or any other pressure point areas that would alleviate the pain.
4) Rolling stick - to roll out any muscle tightness. One I didn't end up using but had packed in my bag.
5) Aromatherapy - I also had packed essential oils such as lavender to diffuse but did not use.
6) 2 piece bathing suit - I thought I would want to get in the tub but at the time, didn't feel like going through the hassle of soaking in hot water. Water does take the pressure off the back.
7) Bluetooth speakers - just in case I wanted to hear some relaxing music.
8) My Partner! We never realized how involved the other half is in the labor and delivery until we attended a birthing class and of course, experienced it ourselves! Partners, be the cheerleader and a strong encourager.
8) My Partner! We never realized how involved the other half is in the labor and delivery until we attended a birthing class and of course, experienced it ourselves! Partners, be the cheerleader and a strong encourager.
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